Genesis, To Fly

Genesis, To Fly

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Main Entry: 1vol•a•tile
Pronunciation: 'vä-l&-t&l, esp British -"tIl
Function: adjective
Etymology: French, from Latin volatilis, from volare to fly


1 : readily vaporizable at a relatively low temperature</i>
               An era of Edenistic emotion
               curls around my finger tips and toes,
               slowly working its way to my heart—
               felt cold, inside,
               in the summertime; and winter fills itself
               with warm motion picture memories
               of rainy day discussions
               outside office doors
               that return like contractions.
               It’s a full moon September, and I miss the sting of the rays:

2 : flying or having the power to fly</i>
               He reflects, each star that falls from the sky
               like lightning sparks
               off a barbed-wire fence, and
               the way he looked when he held me—
               he’s ferris wheels and marry-go-rounds
               and other games that leave me spinning.
               And every night he’s not around,
               I dream of angels and airplanes
               and wonder where he’s flown off to now.
               He’s leaving October, and I’ll come crawling back:

3 a : LIGHTHEARTED, LIVELY b : easily aroused <volatile suspicions> c : tending to erupt into violence : EXPLOSIVE</i>
               To her, I’m aspirin sighs and vodka tears,
               and she runs through scattered showers screaming my name
               while I drown in regret. She’s pixie dust                   
               in bowling shoes, but she’ll spare me the drama
               if I stay in neverland forever. With her.
               She’s vaulted into lavender hysteria; I can
               feel the heat of her bipolar extreme
               and hide in the shadows of her
               emptiness. She’s ice cream Sundays and takeout boxes—
               she’s eternal November, and I wait:

4 a : unable to hold the attention fixed because of an inherent lightness or fickleness of disposition b : characterized by or subject to rapid or unexpected change</i>
               For the status shift, it’s time to move on
               to a brand new shade of reason,
               not saturated with must and serrated desires
               or the brown paper secrets I hang on my walls.
               They disagree through silent cardboard conversations—
               what comes up will bring me down, and I watch
               as I fall to my knees in a still water reflection;
               I can always look behind me
               and see life in reverse—
               it’s a December regression and I’m running away:

5 : difficult to capture or hold permanently : EVANESCENT, TRANSITORY</i>
               To find myself, I’ll look
               through everyone else’s historical lies
               I’m condemned to repeat—
               when I think of love I think of him
               and her dogwalk deception; they led me on
               with her four a.m. Rose Red reliance on me
               and the way I see his face in the late night TV talk show host
               who makes light of our roots in good and evil
               that cloud my mind and swirl like thunder;
               It’s January and I’m crashing.